Journey on my own

Łódź, Poland

I woke up with a sudden jerk. I felt my scarf pressing against my cheek. The whole world seemed very blur. I heard some voice, someone speaking in the microphone. I could not understand what she was saying. I took me a couple of seconds before I realised the plane was landing. I had just felt the wheels touch the ground. The plane had landed in Warsaw- the capital and largest city of Poland. The time is 17:10 and the temperature outside was 12 degree Celsius. It had been a very tiring day for me. I realised that I had fallen asleep as soon as the plane had taken off. The plane was going towards the parking; I sat in my seat trying to catch my breath. And then, I slowly started to get off the seat as the plane was getting empty. I wanted to get my luggage from above me. I pulled my super heavy cabin suitcase from the compartment (pretending to be a weight lifting champion). I dragged it behind me and walked out of the aircraft very lazily. It was rather a crowded airport. There were signs with a lot of consonants (polish) randomly arranged to make absolute no sense. I looked frantically for an exit sign. For, I still had to catch a bus and travel for 2 hours more. I also needed some Zlothy (polish money). I quickly rushed to the nearest bankomat while I tried to connect to the wifi. I wanted to text my mum on whatsapp that I reached. I see no reason why, but I wanted to do it. I followed the signs, walked out of the airport. The chill in the air started to creep up my leg through my jeans (of course this was nothing in comparison to Sweden, however I am still not thick skinned). I continued my walk. The confusing signs finally lead me to some space which looked like a bus terminal. I had a ticket and still had 15mins before the bus. I waited there finally feeling a bit relaxed. But when it was 5:50 and the bus was not there I started to sweat a bit. I wondered if I was at the right place or missed my bus. (I have had worst experiences before. Especially with missing buses and airplanes) I was so used to the promptness of the Nordic countries that even 5 mins delay made me stress.

Finally the bus arrived and I loaded my luggage and got into this mini bus (modlin bus). It was surprising full. Forget about choosing a seat, I had to just squeeze into the last seat. I wanted to look outside the window to see a bit of Warsawa, but thanks to my tiredness I fell asleep again. So comfortably in the most uncomfortable seat ever. The next I woke up was 20 mins before I reached Lodz. I got off the bus, went straight into the bus station and bought a ticket for the public bus like I even know what I am doing.

Only when I got out 

I did not know which bus to take to the hotel I was staying. I did not know which direction it was. I was afraid to take a bus and end up somewhere very far away from the city. The hotel was 2.5 kms away. I decided to walk. I had my hand bag hanging on my shoulder and a suit case coming behind me. I walked an empty street. It had a series of lights. But there was no one on the street. It was reality check. I was walking alone. All alone 8,205 km (1,654 hrs away by foot) away from where the people I love are. It was dark - still there was light. I street was empty still a feeling of safety because no was there. I had left my love and my life behind me. I was searching for something. Something in a country I have never been in. In a place that was unfamiliar to me, around the people who don’t speak my language and in world where I have no one called mine. I went there looking for something: What was it. The thirst for knowledge (I was going to graphic design camp) or for inner peace or for answers to my unending chain of questions of life and people. Was it a coward move to run away or a brave step to stand for the dreams?

I could walk no more! My phone was low on battery, my stomach was low on food, brain was low on sleep and life was low on motivation. I somehow made it to the meeting. All of the other members dressed in elegant clothes attending the grand opening ceremony. I stood there with my messes hair, loose floral pants and a plain tshirt. Staring at the warm smiles. :)

Manager material !

VOLVO - IT

 My summer work.

It is my first job ever ( Its a first real job, in the field I like a lot - Business Intelligence ). I was to meet my line manager at ARU ( Arendal - beautiful seaside office) after several days of confusion and waiting. It is my first day at my first job; of course I was excited, thrilled and worried. I was hoping that I was competent enough for the job and also swore to myself that I would give it my blood and sweat to do so ! (these lines were repeating in my head like an old broken tape recorder).

With all of this running in my mind: I wore a blouse with neutral cream colour which I was saving for an occasion like this. Before I realized, the time was clicking by. I rushed to the tram stop ( thankfully I had wore comfortable shoes) and changed to a bus which passed through several parts of the Volvo Industrial Area and finally I arrived at Arendal. It was sunny and good weather ( weather is always important when you are starting anew, I feel). I had reached 20 minutes early to the meeting as I got off at Arendal Skans (he had sent me a map and very clear instructions, which proved to be so convenient). As I got off and walked, I recognized the place. I had been there before to the Volvo museum (felt good - not sure why, maybe the familiarity). I decided I would get some 'glass' (There's always time for an ice cream) and wait for him outside the museum and call him almost at the time we had decided. On making this decision, I walked close to the museum entrance. 

There was a fairly young and handsome man with sparkling eyes, sitting on the wooden bench facing the direction in which I was walking. He was on his phone and also had an acquaintance expression on his face as he saw me. I was pretty sure that I had never met this person ever before. There was an internal conflict: should I smile at him since it was already an awkward eye contact or should I be Swedish about it and ignore. Before the thought process completed, he walked towards me and introduced himself as Stefan ( Stefan Lökholm) and asked me if I was me  (:P) I nodded a yes and he explained that he was expecting me and that's the reason he waited there. We walked to his office, picked up my computer bag and we drove to the place where we make an ID. I am unsure what had gotten into me - I spoke non stop until we reached the ID making office. I spoke about the weather, about how much I like Sweden and about all the places I went to and want to go to and how I froze to death by camping in March. He listened to me- he listened to me with genuine interest ( I still wonder how he could be so nice, even when I was boring him to death). We reached the ID office, waiting in line to make the ID, and once done, checked if it works as expected, so that I wont have issues in the future; and al along, I had continued to talk.

We reached Torslanda- from where I am supposed to work. He  taught me to open my computer, to log in, to use the email, to use the internal communicator (Lync), treating me like a little child (which I was). The kindness beamed inside of him. He, along with me, walked to my desk, showed me how to use a docking station, himself went under my desk just to fix the electric wires and also showed how locking the computer system is done. It was the simplicity and humility I saw. He remembered to show me the coffee machine, the toilets, the printing places, the stationery location and even the emergency exit. It was the practicality that he had. He called the functional manager and discussed with me the tasks I am supposed to do and helped me think. He was being a teacher and guide. He discussed with me on how to ask questions, how to plan my work and explained what to expect- he taught me to be professional. He was always clear on what was possible on his side and what was not. He reflected to me that being clear on one's thinking and letting others know about it is important ( I realise that one must never be left on the leash) .The next day he visited to see if I was doing ok - again, I witnessed the soft side of him. He showed me that being human is important. He discussed with me about work, deliverables and payment in a clear and understandable way. It felt like he had a check-list to do everything for a new employee. As a line manager he justified all of his duties soo efficiently. He sets an example for all managers.

That night, I lay in my bed thinking - if I ever become a manager, I WOULD LOVE TO BECOME LIKE HIM!

Mentorship Personified !

A person walking into my life by chance, transforming me beyond imagination.

It was a warm Wednesday, (rather cold for me since I was new then), 17th of September 2013. I woke up really early in the morning that morning trying on several dresses before I decided on one and combined it with comfortable shoes(learning from previous experience) and left my apartment for school. It was a big day for me. I had to present myself and other Indian scholarship students before the top people of Chalmers University of Technology and industry experts from around Gothenburg. I walked into the historical house of William Chalmers filled with anxiety and anticipation. Less did I know that I would find my guardian angel there. A sweet smiling face, introducing herself with a warm handshake. I was trying hard to feel comfortable, still pretending to be cool. In, the middle of several discussions in that room, I heard her say that she wants to pick me to be my mentor. I turned to look at her abruptly. The kindness reflected. I was already starting feel that I was the special one.

Her smile filled me with confidence, her eyes silently told me not to fear. Random thoughts passed through, unable to compile I spoke before the crowd. Words rolled from within changing my speech completely and jeopardizing several of my practice sessions. I think she transferred some power into me. It was Samaneh- the most beautiful lady I have met; fighting for her dreams all through her life in Iran and in Sweden.After several struggles she stood there, strong and self made. She inspired me to hold on and stay strong.

Several months later, it was time for Christmas. Again did I meet her for lunch and a visit to Volvo Museum. I was in a car which drove over a magnificent bridge. It wan't snowing that day. But tiny droplets of cold water touched my cheeks as I got off the car. I felt fresh, strong and motivated already for that day(Not sure if it was because I would meet Samaneh) I think it always happens to me, when I meet people I like a lot-I become socially incapable. (This time I dropped a glass in the front porch of a fancy Volvo restaurant. Or actually I didn't it was the awesomely funny Chinese guy Hisen Guo) However, with the kind person she naturally is, she put up with my silliness and immaturity. It impressed me how much effort she took  or with my special preference of vegetarian food and translating to me the starters and main course. I would be so embarrassed if I had to deal with all the sophistication and complexity of that restaurant myself.After the lunch we drove to the Volvo museum. It is a nice glass building and I could see the antique cars glorifying it. I walked in and walked straight to the merchandise (Like a dream for an Indian to own Volvo merchandise). it was a guided tour and along the way we found statues of Gustaf Larson and Assar Gabrielsson the founders of Volvo. I asked my friend to click funny pictures of me with those statues- people who have achieved beyond it all. As I posed to this picture, in the corner of my eye I saw Samaneh carefully listening to our guide with all interest and curiosity. Like a thunder, it flashed to me what she had said during lunch- "there is just so much to learn". I witnessed that side of her. Humility in her nature, thirst for knowledge. She stood there, as I processed these thoughts within me.

She stands as a role model to me today-now. A perfect blend of professionalism and rationalism. She stands for what she is and what she believes in. She has integrated herself into the Swedish culture still managing to hold her Iranian roots strong. As I interacted with her more often now a days, I have realized the beautiful side of her. Conversations with her make me feel like I have found a new person within me. She has narrated to me about her experiences as a student, as a lady, as a wife. She has taught me to be practical (being healthy and happy as-well). She genuinely cared for me. She took great pains to find me a summer job (even when it wasn't her job). And when I started the job, she was constantly advising me to maintain good posture and diet, and also helping me find myself within these few days. Slowly transforming me into a sophisticated lady(However, I am lousy enough to practice none) When I asked her about it she said "If you were my brother I would do the same". It was enough to say she was like a sister to me(or a kid- as she calls me during fika). The care, compassion and the protective nature I received from her at work is nothing more I can ask for (feels like I belong here).

Sometimes I wonder.. Is she my mentor who is mentoring me to be :

• Professionally competent
• Rational by nature or
• Beautiful by heart?

I think she has justified all of it for me.